Back in the game...

I'll just start off by saying that I'm super pumped about getting back into this writing thing... I just read all of my old Live journal posts and I'm really glad that I took the time to pour my thought onto the record... Hopefully, I can get an idea of the framework of my brain when I go back and read about the free man in his grave.

I'd have to say that I'm a happy guy. That's just the facts. I'm not going to justify it or try and validate that statement by giving supporting evidence. I'm a happy guy. Yet, I find that my rants and ravings and writings tend to lean towards the morose. I figure it's just the natural dichotomy of my character. As happy as you may be, everyone worth anything thinks about somber shit sometimes. I've never had to put effort into being enthusiastic about life. I've always just existed and enjoyed the feeling.

If i was forced to describe hell right now, it would be nothing. I would leave this mortal coil (warning to any possible readers, I will often resort to cliché, because I figure they were invented for a reason and I'm usually too lazy to make up something new) and cease to exist. It'd be like when a light bulb blows out. There'd be light and then there'd be the absence of light.

That's it.

I figure that's why I could never be an atheist. It'd be like deciding one day that I think everyone's going to hell. Which is pretty much the same as being a Christian...or a Jew...or a Muslim... so I kind of just do my own thing... Which is working out pretty well. I'm sort of like a Buddhist with out all of the chanting and mysticism and weird baggage shit that people have tacked on over the years. From what I understand, Buddhism is basically just some guy back in the day saying “live a good life and everything will be cool.” Which I guess is at the heart of every religion. So nix that whole Buddhist thing.

You might notice I've got this stream of consciousness thing going on. It works for me and I can guarantee this'll be more interesting than Johnny Get Your Gun. Maybe not as interesting as Kurt Vonnegut or something, but interesting none the less. Though (Spoiler Warning) Johnny Get Your Gun did have a guy with his face blown off and shit which, depending on your mood, could be pretty interesting.

Back to my religious pondering... I believe in living a good life, regardless of whether there's some ethereal parent leaning over our shoulder making us feel guilty for shit. Real goodness is doing the right thing when no one's watching anyway. Plus anybody who wants to believe in a god that is so spiteful and vindictive that he'd let you go to hell for some small ass bullshit is probably just a victim of bad parenting and confusing their parents ideas with the lords.

One of the biggest epiphanies I've ever had was the realization that adults are just kids playing in their parents closets, pretending to be what they thought their parents were. All of the aspects of society that separate us from the animals are just self-imposed constructs. All of our cares and worries and dreams and hopes and goals beyond eating, fighting and fucking are just a way of feeling like were not wasting that brain capacity we're so proud of. I think it's kind of like a job with too many managers. Eventually, managers have to start looking for shit to do, which just annoys everyone else and generally fucks with shit that was cool to begin with. Can you really say that we're a lot better off than the other animals that roam the earth, simply because we have a lot of shit that they don't? The ability to use tools is the most overrated fucking thing ever. I think people would spend a lot more time enjoying life if they didn't have to worry about using all those god damn tools we invented. And the more tools we invent the "easier" things become. MY ASS! The more tools we invent, the more steps people have to take to get shit done!

Look at the internet. It's assumed that having access to more knowledge and more people is a good thing and I can't really disagree. But, think about how much better we'd know things and people near to us if we didn't have the distraction of all the worlds information at our fingertips. Why learn about our neighbor when it seems so much cooler to learn about somebody somewhere else. It's like someone trying to teach you all of the worlds languages at once. Say you figure it out. You'll never be as solid as if you spent all of that energy perfecting one.


I've started sarging, which is PUA speak for actively spitting at bitches and generally practicing the art of smooth pimpery. I used to be a gorilla pimp but I'm slowly acclimating to finesse pimping. Later today I'll probably post some more pick-up related shit to help me keep track of my progress.

- Learning the game
- Going to the gym
- Trying to keep the balls juggling cause I know as soon as I really look at em they'll all just tumble to the floor...